


Wedding Havoc

by mickeycmick



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Tragedy, but on a happy note(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:16:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickeycmick/pseuds/mickeycmick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Natsu's Wedding tomorrow. Gray was chosen as his best man, he should be happy yet he's anxious, worst of all he thinks he knows why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Havoc

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this a long long time ago but it was the only story where I actually wrote an actual LEMON scene so I wanna post it LOLs.  
> Thank you WinterImperfect for being such an amazing BETA

Disclaimers: Fairy taill belongs to Hiro Mashima

* * *

 At a house located in the outskirts of Magnolia, a shirtless figure sat on the couch in the middle of the room. His head was slumped and his mat black hair covered his pale face. The silence inside the room was further accentuated by the furniture of ice located everywhere around the room.

The figure then slouched backwards on his couch. Gray stared at the black ceiling for a while questioning himself, what is wrong with him? He was annoyed with himself, why was he distraught at the thought of Natsu marrying Lucy? Shouldn't he congratulate them and feel delighted with the amalgamation between the two? After all, they were his best friends. He has always known that he was gay, yet he had never told anyone about this. It was always a secret, his deepest secret that he was sure that he could always hide. Still after hours of thoughts, he had come to terms with himself that he has feelings for Natsu. He never knew how it came along; after all, he thought they hated each other. Though their relationship has gotten better after Lucy joined the guild, he can't believe he could develop affection for the pink haired dragon slayer.

Natsu had asked him to be his best man in the wedding ceremony tomorrow owing to a decade of their rivalry and friendship. He had wished to decline but could not find a reason do to so. It was now quite late in the day and they were supposed to have a bachelor's party at the club near the guild. He got up and decided to take a short bath before going out. The bathwater used was cold as it always was; yet now it seemed to him that the coldness was reflecting the cold yet turbulent turmoil in his heart. He silently walked out of the bath, body still dripping with water trying to calm himself by standing still, closing his eyes.

 _Everything is going to be all right, you'll soon forget about him and it's going to be like this feeling has never emanated before_ He chided himself. He decided on his usual white coat and black pants and left his house.

Outside the house snow was falling. Gray has never thought snow was cold; training with Ur has made him used to it. However now though it wasn't physically cold, his hidden emotions were freezing his heart alive. He continued to walk silently along the tracks to his destination.

When he entered the Half Cocor pub he felt the earsplitting noise penetrated his ears. He continued walking until he saw Natsu surrounded by the other guild members. Natsu seemed to have noticed him and waved at him to come over and have a seat. He walked to the lounge and sat next to Natsu.

"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow myself, time sure flies! It's like we were just fighting yesterday!" Natsu seemed to target his conversation towards Gray, his voice seemed to be woozy and unrestrained, and likely from the alcohol intake he took.

"Yeah." _neither can I, by tomorrow I'll tell myself that you have someone else and there's no chance for me to intrude, and hopefully, just hopefully these feelings will wither away._

"You know I don't even know if me and Lucy could stay as a couple, sometimes we just argue over such menial things as food, I don't know why I said yes when she asked me out the passed two years."

"I'm sure you'll be fine, I mean you've been together for two years. That kind of proves to everyone that your love for each other is strong and that you two are inseparable." saying those things hurt Gray, yet he believed that to forget about Natsu he must force himself to do so. He must somehow get rid of all optimism in his mind saying that the two of them could ever be together.

"Thanks for the support Gray, you know after all those fights we've been through, whether it's against each other or someone else I could strongly say to the world that you're my best friend. You know what, I think you're going to be the friend who stays with me till the last of my days." Gray thought bitterly, that's all he could ever be to Natsu isn't it? The worlds best FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND! He hated the words spoken from Natsu's pink luscious lips but he even hated himself more for again thinking that they could be together after all those mental arguments he made for himself. He forced himself to smile gently at Natsu's words, yet inside he felt that his heart was squeezing itself so hard that it could implode.

As the party raged on, the sound from the stereo seemed to become louder and louder, Gray felt that it could tear his eardrums. To compensate his churning murky emotion he drank a whole shot of gin tonic, which in turn relaxed him a little. Natsu, who was sitting next to him, appeared to be already quite drunk. His face was flushed red and Gray had to urge himself to stop him from grabbing Natsu and thrashes him around.

Cana, who was also at the party, was clearly drunk. Her face was now similar to that of an insatiable old pedophile ready to grab any target she could find. Strangely her target seemed to be Natsu. She slowly climbed up the white table in front of Natsu and crawled towards him, when she reached his spot she imitated the action of a feline and licked his face. Natsu didn't seem to mind, but Gray was boiling.

_How dare she! How dare she! I was trying so hard to suppress my inner desires; I even avoided drinking too much in fear of losing control! Yet look at this drunken bitch. How dare she lick Natsu when someone like me can only have impish thoughts about those things!_

Gray's hand tightened into a fist but he again tried to calm himself by thinking, _yeah, this is good, it shows me again that we can never be together, after all he's heterosexual preferring the company of women when I'm a homo of course we're never going to be together._ Those thoughts again wounded his feelings but it pulled him back to reality. However, Cana didn't stop there and like every super drunk person has a habit of doing, she went further. She grabbed Natsu's hand and pulled them to her breast signaling that she wished for him to fondle them. Natsu was quite surprised by Cana's action and struggled strongly to pull his hands away from her bosoms. Cana slithered closer to Natsu with her legs and tummy, her hand still holding Natsu's hand to her bosom. Like a snake catching its prey, she moved her face towards Natsu and gently bit his lips.

Natsu's eyes widened clearly with the shock he got from the experience.

"CANA!" Was the shout that emanated from Gray. All this time as Cana was advancing toward Natsu, his hand was tightening more and more intensely, to the point that he could even feel some blood dripping through his harsh grip. But when Cana Stole Natsu lips his mind snapped. _That was it!_ He told himself. _How can someone like her take all that I fantasized about, after all she's a_ guild _member, one that wasn't even that close to Natsu. While he, Natsu's BEST FRIEND, (as Natsu would have it) could never get or try to do what she just did_.

The shout from Gray startled Cana and a few people close to them (since his shout was mostly covered by the loud music). Gray then stood up and startled Cana further by grabbing her hand roughly, forcing her to let go of her hold over Natsu. Gray proceeded to grab Natsu's arms and pulled him off his seat. Placing the money on the table with a loud bang, Gray dragged Natsu out of the club. His mind was in turmoil with his emotions, diminishing any reasoning he had left. The pair exited the club with a loud bang, the door ending the tense silence that still emanated inside.

* * *

The pink haired boy was pulled out of the pub. Yet he still didn’t seem to have noticed that the black haired boy beside him was at the point of volcanic eruption. Gray realized that Natsu was - after all that drinking- mildly drunk. Gray decided it was time to take Natsu back home to avoid himself from being overtly jealous. _Damn that Cana, making me loses control of myself like this! Now people are going to be suspicious about me – Damn her for taking advantage of Natsu (MY NATSU (I wish))._

Gray dragged the drunken Natsu along. After a short inspection, Natsu thought that Gray was somehow quite pissed yet didn’t know why.

 After the 20 minutes of walking through the snow-white paths, they were at the entrance to Natsu’s house.

“Natsu, quickly go home and have a rest. You have a wedding to attend tomorrow evening.” Said Gray. Natsu's reply was just a smile, which in turn is telling Gray nothing - other than how cute he felt Natsu was.

 _Well now what should I do? I guess his keys should be somewhere on him_. With that thought Gray started searching Natsu’s clothing. He started his search through Natsu’s black vest with the orange lines on the edges. After he could not find any traces of the keys he started putting his hands into Natsu’s pants pockets, fumbling around to see if there were any keys.

 _Holy shitttttt!! I’m that close to him! The real him!!_ With that thought, Gray blushed furiously and again tried to cleanse his desire by saying to himself again that he and Natsu are different and that Natsu would never bend that way. With that thought, he calmly continued his search.

Gray finally came to a conclusion that Natsu did not have his keys with him. Shortly after he had started dating Lucy, Natsu was prone to living together with her.       _They lived together you got that!! How long must it take for me to let go? I hate this feeling and at the same time I don’t want it to disappear. I wish there was just a way to make things go back to the way they were when I was his friend and when we argued like how friends do. But now, how can I simply be his friend when every time I look at him, I’m thinking of so much more? But, even if I have the chance to restart everything again the only thing that hurts me more than my broken heart is to know that if I had a chance to do it all over again and suffer the same fate . . . . . I would._

He had never thought that he could be jealous of Lucy but the thought of them being together, sleeping together, holding each other, kissing each other pained him so much. _Why, just why can’t I be the one beside him? Why must it be someone else? Why can’t I be the one to touch him, to hold him, to protect him, to love him, why is it always someone else?_

Gray hated himself for these selfish thoughts, but thinking like that surged up his buried pain. He could feel his eyes tearing while still holding on to Natsu.

Being Gray, he knew that if he really wanted to take Natsu inside the house he could just break the door with his ice make ability. Likewise, he could take Natsu to Lucy’s apartment that isn’t too far from his home itself. Maybe it was the quick shot of gin tonic that diminished his reasoning ability. Gray stood there holding Natsu's hand, deciding what to do for a while until Natsu hugged him and chattered,

“G-G-Gray I-I-I-I’m c-c-c-cold.” _Oh shit I think I’m getting hard_ and with that Gray decided to take Natsu to his home.

The continuously descending snow doesn’t seem to make Gray any colder, rather it brought a warm sensation within him, for the colder it was the tighter Natsu clung to his body.

 _He’s not a flame dragon slayer for nothing_ ; _to make someone who hates the hot weather like me to enjoy the warm physical sensation is enchanting_. _Yet I know this wouldn’t last forever, when dawn breaks I would lose all chance of being with Natsu. Oh how I wish time could easily be frozen as ice and snow so that I could have his touch eternally and cherish the moment forever_. Nonetheless whilst walking along the cold tracks of the fallen snow, Gray’s heart blossomed with happiness for a while.

Natsu who was still pleasantly buzzed by the alcohol intake did not seem to understand his surroundings yet. However, he could feel the warmth emanating from the one he was clinging to. To Natsu it wasn’t just physical warmth; it was also the feeling of completion. _To think I’ve never felt like this for Lucy even though we’ve dated for two years. Again, it’s not like we ever did anything more than kissing (as Lucy would have it). After tomorrow could we progress further than this? Do I want our relationship to develop further? Is this even love? My spirit of freedom pulled her to me and I was pulled to her by her refusal to give in. Is that love or is it just impulse? Then again, except for Erza, I didn’t interact much with girls. The most intimate relation I have experienced was the rivalry with Gray. Gray, Gray, Gray, why is his name ringing in my head? How important is he to me? Had I ever missed those touches even when it’s his punches? I guess I have. After not fighting him for a while I crave for his touch. Do I love Gray? Gray! Seriously! But even if I felt something for him, what could ever happen? Is he even a homosexual? He might even be disgusted, repulsed and sickened by me. Also my wedding’s tomorrow, what am I going to do with Lucy? It’s painful but all the paths seemed to have been decided when I announced our wedding . . .._

  _Wait, WHY AM I IN FRONT OF GRAY’S HOUSE?_

* * *

Snowflakes were still falling when they arrived at Gray’s house. Gray turned to look at Natsu and gulped. _Oh shit, what have I done now? Natsu even looked as confused as I am!_ “N-Natsu, as you can’t be at your place tonight you can stay here for the night.” Gray spoke, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Natsu, however, didn’t seem to mind and nodded. As they walked towards the door, heaven appeared to have played a prank on them causing Gray and Natsu to trip. The pair both pitched forward into the slushy snow and ended up crashing into another pile of snow. Gray was lying on top of Natsu’s body, their heads were touching and so were their lips. Gray’s eyes widened as he realized what had happened. _Fuck . . .. I’m getting hard._ Gray stared at Natsu who shared the same shocked expression. Gray stood up, breaking the kiss with Natsu; the front garden of the house became covered in an awkward silence. _That f-f-f-felt g-g-g-good, fucking nice, after all these years . . .. I’ve finally done it._

 The silence resided in the zone for several more minutes until Natsu broke it by saying, “I-I-I’m cold.” Which at that moment was reasonable judging by the fact they have been laying in the snow for quite a while. Gray watched as Natsu shivered in the snow, curling his arms around himself to search for warmth. Strangely, it was turning him on.

  _God, Shit, Fuck! What do I do now? He’s so beautiful and elegant, how am I supposed to calm myself? Am I really going to do this? I thought I told myself that we’re impossible and that I’ll give in, why am I thinking like this again! If I do this If I do this . . . . . we’ll never be able to be friends again. We might not even talk ever again. He might hate me, he might curse me and he might abhor me. But. If I don’t. If I don’t . . .. He’ll be gone from my grasp forever. I’ll never be able to touch him, hold him, caress or love him anymore. Fuck all the future alternatives, this is my last chance, my only chance to be with Natsu and I’m taking it!_

 With thathe pulled Natsu up from the snow and slammed Natsu’s lips with another kiss “If you’re cold, let me warm you up. It’s okay I’ll give you loads of my heat.” He gazed at Natsu’s face trying to understand what was portrayed on the flawlessly shaped face. _Does he hate it? Does he enjoy the sensation I’m feeling? Will these touches send my thoughts to him?_ _Will he understand my emotions and return them or am I just hoping for too much?_ Gray’s advances on Natsu became more forceful as Gray inserted his tongue in the pink haired boys mouth, trying to explore everything about him.

 Natsu enjoyed the sensations, but still couldn't help but think, _I can’t do this, no matter how much I like it. No matter how much I may love to have it I cant. Our paths have already been decided and there’s no going back. It’s all too late, just too late. I’m getting married tomorrow and that is what will be happening, nothing can be altered no matter how much I want it changed . . . . ._ “Ah, Ahh s-s-stop it Gray!” Natsu broke the intimate kiss. “We can’t do this.” he murmured desperately, trying to break free from the warm sensation stemmed from Gray and escape to the cold pile of snow. “You’ve been my friend for a decade, we can’t to this Gray, I don’t swing that way!” Natsu could see that his words hurt Gray but he believed that he had no other alternatives and cried, “Please Gray, just let me go, please!”

“I won’t! If I let you go now I’ll never have the chance to be with you again. This is my final chance, the only chance! I can’t let you go, I’m sorry and I know you’re going to hate me, maybe you already do. But I love you. I’ve always kept it inside, I never told anyone about it. It was only when I was going to lose you that I finally had the courage to do something about it. I know that loving you... loving you is just like trying to touch a star; it’s impossible yet I can’t help but try. Natsu, I can’t live my life without you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry but I can’t let you go!”

 Natsu was stunned by what he had just heard. _Gray loves me. Gray’s a homosexual, and we might have mutual feelings. Yet-yet everything is too late now. What am I going to do about Lucy? What am I going to do about tomorrow? It’s too late, too late to throw away everything and start all over; it’s just... just too late._ “G-G-Gray please stop, I’m not g-g-ga-Ah-Ahhh!” But Gray's lips once again invaded Natsu's covering up everything Natsu was trying to say. _This sensation, I just love it. This heat from his fevered kisses that give my body sweet tingles. This heat that repelled all the coldness of the snowflakes, which covers and falls upon us but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t let myself feel this way._

 Gray looked into Natsu’s eyes. He could see the translucent, tiny orbs of water dripping from them.

  _I’m such a bastard; I made the person I love cry. I don’t want to hurt him anymore, yet I’m at my limit. I can’t restrain these long concealed feelings anymore._ Gray moved his hands under Natsu's clothes, caressing his skin gently and entwining them around Natsu’s body. He trailed his long slender fingers up the pink haired boys sensitive spine causing soft moans to slip from Natsu’s mouth but due to Gray deepening the kiss by slithering his tongue inside Natsu’s mouth suppressed the cries. He moved his face to plant kisses on the trail of tears on Natsu’s soft cheeks. Then he started nibbling and licking Natsu’s earlobe sucking at his pulse point, creating more soft whimpers from Natsu. At the same time his fingers tweaked, caressed and rubbed at Natsu’s nipples. Gray could feel his touch taking effect when he felt the slow throbbing sensation of Natsu's slowly hardening member come into contact with his own raging erection. Gray took this chance and pulled off Natsu’s vest throwing it in the snowy wasteland. Gray moved his body down Natsu's and used his hands to caress Natsu’s hardening bulge. “Are you enjoying this?” Gray whispered out, but Natsu's reply was only the sound of his continuous sobbing. “You’re enjoying it aren’t you? Your body’s more honest. It’s already straining your pants.” With that, Natsu's teary face blushed frantically, yet he still said nothing. _I’ve hurt.. I’ve hurt him. I don’t want to do this yet I can’t stop myself! Is Natsu not rejecting me as much now because he pities me? Whatever the reason is, I just can’t stop myself anymore._

Gray used his lips to plant a kiss on Natsu’s bulge, causing the arousal in the pants to swell exponentially. He moved his head to Natsu’s navel and sucked around it leaving kiss marks. Simultaneously, his hands were slowly slipping down Natsu’s perfect abdomen arriving at Natsu’s black pants. The pants were then gradually dragged down, leaving Natsu with just his pink boxers with flames patterns on it. With just the boxers left, Gray realized clearly that Natsu isn’t totally rejecting him yet Natsu words spoke otherwise pleading. “G-Gray l-l-let me g-g-g-o.” The blacked haired boy reply was sincere, astute and decisive. “I’ve always waited for this moment, this moment when I can touch you, caress you and hold you. There’s no way that I’ll let you go. I could’ve taken you to Lucy’s but I can’t stand the thought of you being with her. Taking you here. Taking you here is my final chance to be with you. And now... now that I have you in my grasp I’m not going to let you go.” Staring at Natsu's pure black onyx eyes, Gray realized it contained many emotions that he couldn’t figure out. _His eyes, they seem melancholic, yet glad and fulfilled. I can’t figure him out at all._

Seeing Natsu with just his damp boxers on made his insatiable desires run wild. _At first I was only thinking of just holding him, kissing him and caressing him. But now, I want so much more. Damn all the consequences._

With that, Gray pulled Natsu boxers down revealing the pulsating member that had a bead of pre-cum at the tip. “Whoaaaaaa!!!! What the fu-ahh-ahhhh!” Natsu's cries were hushed by Gray’s hand, which were gently stroking Natsu’s member. Soon the strokes were replaced by a more intense sensation as Gray’s lips met Natsu’s member and abruptly white cum surged from the tip. Natsu trembled and cried, “This . . . this isn’t my fault, it’s because you’re forcing me . . . . . It’s your fault!”

 “You’re right, it’s my fault, and I’ve always longed for you. And now you’re leaving me, what choice do I have? Hate me all you want, even if I’m hated by you, my feelings for you will be the same. Ever since I’ve realized this feeling, I want nothing else but you, only you!” Gray’s tears flowed from his black eyes, shocking Natsu. This caused him to not notice that his boxers had been pulled down. Gray then started to turn Natsu over ignoring his protest “Gray!!! You shouldn’t do this - you’re not in the right mind now. You don’t know what you’re d-doing-ahhh-ahhhh don’t touch there no-!” Again, Natsu protests stopped as Gray started licking Natsu’s entrance savoring all the sensations he could feel. Gray proceeded to removing his own pants, revealing strained black boxers, which soon were removed as well. Natsu eyes widened as he saw Gray’s erection. _Fuckk seriously! It’s huge! Huge! It’s too big it’ll never go in_. Imagining the scene, Natsu was horrified and pleaded, “Please, Gray, stop! It’s too big, it won’t go in, and please you must stop!” Gray didn’t make any reply to Natsu’s inquiries and advanced to placing his index finger into Natsu’s entrance.

 “Ouchhhh, ahhhh stop it Gray it hurts stop, please!”

“Relax cause if you don’t you’re going to hurt more than you already are.”

“I-I-I feels weird!” Natsu wailed.

“I know, but you’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Natsu's reply to the question was just periods of sobs. Gray decided that Natsu was fine and proceeded by putting his middle finger into his entrance and thrust them into Natsu continuously. “Damn Natsu, you’re tight.” Gray’s statement was replied only by the startled cries of pleasure. Gray repeated this a few more times before moving his member near the entrance and spoke. “Natsu, if you don’t want me to do this say no now, and I’ll be gone forever, and you won’t ever see me again”. Gray knew that he was taking advantage of Natsu's lustful state, which was blocking him from thinking properly, yet Gray still deeply wanted Natsu's consent.

It was as Gray had thought, Natsu didn’t speak and Gray proceeded to putting his cock into Natsu’s entrance. “It’s too big, it’s too big, it won’t go in!” sniveled Natsu but Gray's reply confused him. “It will, because we have a natural lubricant.”

“We do?” Gray's reply was a small smirk as he slowly pushed the head of his cock into Natsu's entrance. Gray's left hand went flat while his right curled into a fist. Natsu realized what was coming and shouted, “Are you serious!” Gray replied with an affirmative, “Ice is a lubricant.” followed by joining both hands together and crying out. “Ice-make Geyser.” As Gray said that Natsu felt the ecstasy in him as all of Gray’s cock was pushed into him. It made them feel as if a surge of electric current rushed through their bodies releasing both of their semen at the same time. The pair stayed in that position for a while until Gray pulled out. _I really did it . . .. I raped Natsu- I raped him; it’s probably over for us now, but at least.... at least once in my life I’ve got the one I love._ He wrapped his arms around Natsu and fell asleep.

Natsu was enthralled by the experience; he had never before in his life felt so fulfilled. It was as if he was completed, as if he was whole again. _It’s funny to think that they said coldness dissipate your sexual desires. Because even when we were doing it in the ice, with the snow falling around and on us I didn’t feel that it was cold at all._ _I guess... I guess I love Gray. Yet what can I do? I don’t hate Lucy; we’ve been together for so long. How can I just leave her? I love this sensation. I always wanted to have this, yet when I have it I don’t think I can sustain it. It’s just too late, too late for us, too late for everything._ Natsu broke free from Gray’s tight hug. He stood up and looked at the calm sleeping face of his once-best friend. Tears started falling endlessly from his eyes. He stood there for a while, clothed him, and left the iced plain.

* * *

Gray felt a blurry vision entering his mind. He was standing with Natsu on the edge of the water at Galuna Island. He recalled that this was where he had argued with Natsu during the incident where they had decided to take the S class mission without permission. But the image was not as Gray had remembered. They weren’t arguing like how the it had happened. Natsu was supposed to have used his fire dragon breath which Gray would be countering with his ice make lance, yet that wasn’t happening. Instead Natsu was holding onto Gray’s hand, their hands were intertwined so tight that the black haired boy could feel the heat and heart beat from his pink haired friend.

“The water is beautiful,” Natsu said, breaking the long and serene silence. All Gray could reply to it was a hopeful, yet doubtful, “yeah.” Still hand in hand, the two were walking around the edges of the sea. Natsu was wearing his trademark black pants and vest; his hair was still the placid pink that Gray was so used to seeing. Gray looked at the reflection on the beautiful surface of the water and silently smiled.

They didn’t talk much; all words seemed to be plain and useless. Gray understood they both felt that any talk might break this beautiful and peaceful world, a world of dreams and illusions, and a world that is like cracked glass. A world, which shone dimly among all the darkness surrounding it, a world that looked like it would soon be swallowed by all the dark sadness surrounding it.

Gray looked at Natsu's reflection in the water, “the light reflecting the water is really beautiful isn’t it?” Natsu smiled gently.  “Yeah . . .” The silence returned. It wasn’t an awkward one; it was still as peaceful as ever. They strode quietly along the shore again until Natsu confessed, “I love you so much, much more than anyone, much more than anything in this world! So, I want to be together with you, always.” Gray was dumbfounded, he had never thought this could all be true, all he could respond was, “Then, you won’t leave me right? You won’t go anywhere right?”

“I won’t go, I promise.”

 _Won’t go,_ was so assertive, those two words were so powerful. Gray knew, deep down, that this was all just a dream. But he still wanted to keep repeating this badly acted play of him and Natsu, he wanted this to last, to be true, to have Natsu in his arms. But all of this looked dim and he knew that he was the only spectator in this tragic play.

“I have something to tell you.” The phrase that whispered from Natsu’s pink lips. Gray's heart once again bloomed, words disappeared and all he could silently mutter was “What?” As he stepped into the calm sea. “Stop it, Gray, you’ll freeze!”

H _ow could I freeze you pink headed idiot? You know I could never feel cold, I’m already too used to it that I’m unaffected by it anymore._ He wanted to say these words but he couldn’t, he knew he wanted Natsu to care for him, to look after him like how Natsu is in this effervescent dream. He wished Natsu would also feel these emotions; he hoped Natsu would tell him that he had mutual feelings for Gray. He hoped Natsu would say these words in this hazy dream.

Yet, by some weird reasoning, all he said to Natsu was, “I want to swim, lets swim together.” Natsu smiled back at this statement, and as if it was a dream come true for Gray, Natsu whispered, “All right, if you get cold, I’ll warm you up.”

 It was all a dream; Gray knew that this was all an illusion created by his own desires. True, Natsu was never this gentle to him. Still, he was happy; happy that this dream had happened, happy that he saw him and Natsu together, happy that he saw the impossible possible.

Gray could hear the sound of the water splashing behind him, he thought it was Natsu walking towards him, to hold him, to embrace him, but he was wrong. Slowly and steadily, Natsu walk passed Gray and went further and further into the sea. “Natsu . . . where are you going?” Was all the sound Gray could make as shock overtook him, Natsu didn’t answered and merely gave him a smile with a wave. “Stop! You’ll drown! Stop!” The once calmed sea mimicked the event; waves started crashing upon the shore, on Gray’s legs. Legs that couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. Slowly, Natsu's body was covered by the sea and slowly began to disappear. “Wait! Please, Natsu! Please don’t go, please!” When he gained control of his legs again, he was so far from Natsu. He ran after Natsu, passing the crashing waves. His voice did not seem to reach Natsu as Natsu's body went fully underwater.  Gray ran and ran, but no matter how much he moved, he could never reach Natsu. Seeing Natsu sinking into the water gave Gray a helpless feeling. Tears were pouring from his eyes and his shouting was heard everywhere. “Wait! Natsu! No! No don’t go there. I said stop! Don’t leave me!” Natsu's body was now nowhere to be seen and all it did was make Gray more and more frantic. “Wait! Please! Wait!” All at once, storms were brewing turbulently, thunderstorms wailed and cried like the sound of a monster, waves became uncontrolled and crashed continuously. All at once, the glass shattered, the dream was over, darkness swallowed up everything and finally, all that was left was darkness.

Gray's eyes opened. He lay on the frosty snow, expressionless. Tears streamed from his eyes that mirrored the color of the silvery snow. He looked up at the sky and saw the abyssal sky; he was exhausted by the dream. Yet, he was not relieved by it. It was the same as what reality struck him with, Natsu was gone, the pain in his chest from the loss that he had experienced lingered. He whispered to himself, “Where are you, Natsu?” _A relationship with Natsu could only be a fairy like dream. It could never be true. I could never get to him. This life, we’ll be forever apart, yet I want to be with him_

“I want to be with you Natsu.”  That was all Gray could mutter before he finally whispered, “Can I be with you?” With no tears left to shed, he felt just like a corpse, a body left with the feeling of helplessness. “I can’t bear it anymore. I can’t bear our parting in reality and I can’t bear the parting in our dreams. Therefore, I’ll be where you are, somehow I’ll be where you are . . .” Gray knew that to do so, he would be betraying everybody. Betraying his guild that raised him as a boy, betraying his teacher, Ur, that gave her life to protect him so that he would grow up to be a good man. He knew that by doing so, he would also be betraying Natsu. Gray understood all of it, but he could not think of anything else. It was the only way he could ever be with Natsu. _Next time, I’ll tell you those words, and I’ll make you tell me those words. I want to tell them to you and have you reply those words to me. So can I go to meet you? I really want this, so please forgive me_. With that, Gray rose from the snow.

_In a perfect world, when he's with her, he would be wishing he was with me; when he looked at her, he would be looking at me; when he smiled at her, his smile would be for me; when he thought about someone, he would be thinking about me. In a perfect world, he would realize that she wasn't the one he was supposed to be with and I would still be standing here waiting for him still when he finally knows this. But this isn't a perfect world and people do get hurt, you smile when you feel like crying, you act like you're okay when you're falling apart inside._

* * *

Gray stared at the town’s cathedral, blanked eyed. It was late at night and there was no sign of anybody. He couldn’t remember how he got here. All he knew was that by the time he snapped out of his dreamlike state he was already here. He pushed open the large white marble door of the grand cathedral. Inside the silence was ever-present.

Gray silently walked towards the wooden altar, each step resounding around the room. With each step, Gray could feel his body getting heavier and heavier. “Is this the weight of life?” he mouthed. All the chairs that were prepared for the wedding ceremony seemed like an audience watching the end of a tragic play, immersed in the final scene where someone was doomed to die.

When he reached the altar, he looked down to the supposed white marble floor that was now so dark from the absence of light. So dark that nothing could be seen. Yet, Gray believed that somewhere on the other side of the darkness, he could be with Natsu. “If I do this, I’m sure someday we can meet again. I’m sure a miracle would happen, a miracle that will allow our lives to be connected again.” He murmured, his left arm was then held out forward, followed by the right to make an X shape, his right palm was faced down while the left was facing upwards.

However, he could not perform the forbidden spell iced shell. “In this life, we’ll be forever apart, Natsu hates me. This is the only way for us to be together. It’s the only way I can ever be with him again.” With that, Gray bit his lip and breathed.

“Iced Shell. “Gray muttered. Light emanated from everywhere. Gray, somehow, didn’t feel that he made the wrong decision.

He closed his eyes, feeling his body being liberated thinking, _When this ice finally melts, I’ll be together with you and you’ll be warming me up right? It’s weird for me to think that it’s going to be very cold in there, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Everything I had hoped to be true will be coming true when I open my eyes won’t it? And then, to you I will say those words. The three resolute words and have you reply back to me with those same three words._

And with that, everything in Gray’s sight went white . . . . .

* * *

 A boy who couldn’t sleep from the experience he just had was staring at the cathedral where he was to be wed tomorrow. Bright white light suddenly flared out of the windows of the building shocking him. He walked towards the building and opened the large white marble door.

* * *

Natsu stumbled across the pathway of the Cathedral; he was half blind with grief, with no hope of finding comfort anywhere in this world. There seemed to be nothing left for him; not his guild, not his soon to be wife, not his marriage.

 _He’s dead, oh god, he’s dead and it’s all my fault_. His whole body slumped down. He looked at Gray, looking ever peaceful, his body was still the same, it was just all covered in ice. It was like what he had seen at Galuna Island with the monster Deliora.

He slumped down to the floor. His head was reeling and pounding. He hurt, yet he welcomed all of it. _This is what I deserve; it’s all my fault._ His universe had collapsed the moment he entered the Cathedral and saw Gray’s body.

He gulped, shook all the tears out of his eyes and crawled towards the ice-like sculpture. “Gray, I’m sorry Gray, it wall all my fault. I should have stayed with you. I should have stayed with you and tell you how I feel, but I left you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Natsu sobbed exhaustively, longing for a miracle of some sort to reverse all that had happened. He wished it was a dream, but it wasn’t. No miracle intervened to invert the tragedy that had happened. The cold weather outside was closing in on him. He felt the chills along his veins yet he was too weak to move, too tired and too grief stricken to care. It then occurred to him that he might as well die here. A death as lonely as the one Gray had experienced.

He thought of the mistakes he had made, every wrong turn he took and whimpered. _I deserve to die_ , he thought in anguish. Closing his eyes, he told himself, _I want to die, that way I’ll meet Gray again, and then... Then I will say those words. I’ll tell him all that I feel_.

He felt his body move again, Natsu could feel his legs trembling with every step. He made his way slowly to the ice statue. Gray was dressed in his white coat and black pants that Natsu saw him wearing that evening; his eyes were closed and there was no trace of his grief or madness in his handsome, peaceful face. His hand made an X shape across his chest, those graceful strong hands that had giving Natsu so much comfort.

Natsu reached out, hesitantly, to touch the ice – almost believing that all he had to do was to touch Gray to awaken him. However, the ice was cold. Colder than the marble of the floor. Gray’s eyes did not flutter open with his touch. This was not a fairytale, where the sleeping one would awake again at the magic touch of the one who loved him.

“Please, Gray, forgive me, I-I’m going to try to pay for all that I did to you.” Natsu whispered those words as he silently took out a knife from his pocket and removing its sheath. His hand was shaking but his determination remained firm. Before he could lose his courage he bent and kissed the ice, hoping that he would somehow be forgiven. Caught in a grief too deep for tears he knelt down on the icy white marble floor and braced the hilt of the dagger between his knees, clasping his hands with the dagger between his wrist, resting them on either side of the blade’s edge.

“Gray, I’m sorry that I realized my feelings to late, sorry for refusing to show it all to you, sorry for being so hesitant. Forgive me, please, if you can.” He whispered again, both to the calm face of Gray and the brooding faces behind the altar.

And before he could begin to be afraid, he pulled both wrists up along the knife-edge slashing them simultaneously.

The dagger was as sharp as he had hoped, even sharper than what he had expected. He cut both of his wrists almost to the bone; gasping as pain shot up his arms  as he heard the knife fall, clattering onto the marble.

He slumped due to sudden dizziness and fell forward on his bent knees; his head bowed over his hands, arms lying limp on the marble floor as blood began to spread across the white floor. It pooled before him under his slashed wrists while he stared at it blanked eyed.

Red on white, like blood on the snow, like how ice and fire could have been . . . . .

He was feeling cold, so cold, very cold.

* * *

Waves of gasp echoed through the cathedral as guests for the wedding witnessed the bloody tragedy. Natsu body was bloodied from blood that had spread from his wrist, yet it was clear that his arms were reaching out toward Gray’s dead body. At that moment many had realized what had happened . . ..

When Makarov arrived, he moved swiftly to hold Natsu in his arms; blood from the boy’s wrist stained his white coat but he didn’t seemed to care. With Natsu lifeless head sagged against his chest, Makarov sobbed silently for the death of his 2 boys.

Lucy pushed her way through the silent, shocked crowd and saw the 2 bodies; one being hold by Makarov, the other frozen lifeless. She slumped down on the floor and cried.

The supposedly marriage site became a funeral for the following day. Sadness was everywhere, on that day no hints of laugher or smiles were seen in the streets, just tears and grief. It was the lost of 2 important sibling for the village and the fairy tail family and everyone realized that well.

“-No one deserved to die just because of some mistakes they made. All of this mess was one mistake over another; no one deserves the blame for this tragic incident. Natsu and Gray made mistakes, yes, they made mistakes but they were done out of love and self-destruction is not the answer to it.” Makarov voice was harsh with tears and sorrow, still he continued the speech “We are only simply imperfect mortals – we aren’t angels or gods – we fall on our faces and make errors and sometimes people die of them, sometimes people we love dearly died of them -“

The marble cathedral became the grave of Gray’s frozen body. Natsu body was cremated and stored in a container next to Gray’s body marked with the phrase “Not even death can take us apart”.

* * *

The path was foggy and blurry as Natsu walked down the bright passageway. He kept on walking even without the knowledge of where he was. In the midst of the confusion and darkness, a vague body came into sight. That ebony hair was something that Natsu will always remember.

Rivers of tears gushed out from his eyes as he ran forward to embrace the man he thought he could never meet again.

With all the hysterical sobbing, Natsu  still managed to say, "Gray, I love you, I love you so much. I'll give everything even my life for you, Gray!" Gray smiled silently, fulfilled and glad with what he is hearing. He hugged Natsu back tightly.

"Natsu, I've been waiting for so long."

* * *

 

Mickey 

**Author's Note:**

> PS:It's actually the first fanfic I wrote - now that I think about it, I didn't even know why I decided to have them commit a double suicide (maybe it's a sign to tell me about 'shigatsu wa kimi no uso' - (OMG the double suicide thing).  
> Or maybe it's the shame of writing the lemon, I could still remember myself blushing as i wrote out the scene. -///-


End file.
